One world together, pulling our hair out.
Saturday’s two-hour primetime concert, “One World Together At Home,” achieved the impossible: it made us feel even worse about our already miserable circumstances.
The insufferable show — simulcast on CBS, NBC, ABC and the internet — pieced together saintly speeches from A-list celebrities and somber United Nations officials between womp-womp acoustic ballads. Didn’t we tune in for some uplift?
Yes, but we got none of that when couple Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello dueted on “What A Wonderful World,” Louis Armstrong’s signature number, surrounded by candles like a Bonnie Tyler music video.
Or when Taylor Swift softly crooned “Soon You’ll Get Better” as though she was a hospital resident scrawling out a prescription.
Nearly every musician opted for the saddest, most obvious tune they could muster, while — lucky us! — giving a shaky tour of their fabulous homes that would make Robin Leach scowl.
If you didn’t know John Legend was an EGOT before, you sure do after gawking tonight at his awards shelf, conveniently located next to his piano.
Ellen Degeneres’ floor-to-ceiling windows revealed lush California greenery. And Elton John, oddly, wanted us to witness his basketball hoop, complete with two basketballs on the driveway, as he barked “I’m Still Standing.”
The luxurious Trulia listings would have been forgiven were it not for the dull sanctimony paired with them.
Noemi watches the performance of Billie Eilish and Finneas O’Connell
Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabelo
During the coronavirus shutdown, each day we will bring you…